Dating Quotes

If you can manage the initial discomfort, it's worth joining an established group in which most members are of the gender you're seeking. Shy men who want to meet women might consider taking a course like flower arranging, pottery, or home decorating (ideally, whatever you sign up for should truly interest you) or joining a reading group at the library or local bookstore. Dance, yoga, or Pilates classes are also excellent options for men. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

Volunteering with an organization that interests you is a great way to meet others and boost your social fitness. Focusing the limelight on the goals of the organization and/or the lives of others may reduce your self-consciousness. An added bonus: Besides meeting others who share a common goal, studies show that the altruism you feel by being actively involved with a charitable organization may boost you immune system and promote longevity. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

For general stress relief associated with shyness management, connect with nature to develop a sense of being part of a larger whole. Going for a leisurely walk in the park or sitting by a river and experiencing a sense of the sacredness of all things, like the splendor of a spring day or the divinity of a sunset, can ease stress and help put issues into perspective. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

Smile if you notice someone cute on the subway, in the elevator in your building, or at your job. If you see this person a second time, you say something like, "it looks like we're on the same schedule. My name is... And you?" Then, follow up with a question, such as "Do you work (or live) in the building? I live (or work) on the seventeenth floor." The socially confident know that they often have to make the first move and be a bit forthcoming. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

Start small by making sure your day-to-day routine involves others. Try talking to strangers of all kinds, such as salesclerks, the man or woman behind the dry-cleaning counter, the mailperson, or other parents at your children's school. The goal isn't ultimately to date them; it's to become comfortable talking to people you don't know well. A simple question, such as "how are you?" as you're paying for groceries or holding the door, or even just smiling and saying hello, can provide a background of positive social interactions. The courage history you build through these small steps can help you take it a degree further and begin talking to an interesting-looking stranger who crosses your path. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

Vying for a second date can be even harder than asking for the first, especially if the first was a set-up. What to do? Lead with something you learned about the person on the first date. Did she mention that she likes to swing dance? Then ask her to a dance club the gives free lessons. Does he like to bike ride? Then suggest going cycling together on a scenic local bike trail. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

When saying goodnight, you might: 1) Add, "I had a really great time. Do you want to get together net week?" 2) Call her at home the next day to say thanks for the date and invite her for another. 3) Once you're home, call and leave a message on his machine to say thanks and that you're looking forward to going out again sometime--it'll be the first thing he hears when get gets home. [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

When you're not in bed--perhaps you're walking in the park or having a quiet dinner together--and you're not as shy, talk about it. You might say something like, "I know I have trouble telling you when I want to make love and even letting myself go when I'm in the mood. It's because I feel scared." [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

Although you don't have to mention your shyness right in your profile, you might-or just hint at it in your e-mail correspondence by writing something like, "I'm a little quiet at first, but once I get to know someone, I'm off and running," or "I'm somewhat reserved initially, but quite the opposite when I'm comfortable in my surroundings." [2004] - Bonnie Jacobson

We don't fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with them. When you fall for someone new, there are the head-spinning feelings of excitement and desire, but there's also tension. When you meet your matched opposite, however, that tension is replaced by an enormous, unmistakable sense of calm--and relief. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

We all search for our other half in hopes of becoming whole. This is called "human desire for completeness". In our lover we seek and desire that which we do not have. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

If you believe in love at first sight, there's a roughly 60 percent chance it will happen to you. Love at first sight happens, but it's not wise to count on it. Love by design is a series of steps that helps you connect with your matched opposite. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Like any selection process, love is a numbers game. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

The best way to begin to meet new people is through the people you already know--your friends, family, and colleagues. Ask an acquaintance out for coffee or entertain friends at home. Join a community club or a volunteer organization. Invite friends to a sporting event, park, museum, book club, concert, or festival and suggest they bring friends too. Two simple rules for meeting people: Entertain once a week without fail, and accept all invitations. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Take courses, volunteer, join a committee, go to exhibitions, walk someone's dog, learn to cook, take tango lessons, visit art galleries, go to pet shows, take up roller-skating, attend weddings and christenings, funerals, and other events. Get a fun part-time job, give dinner parties, start a book club, attend night school, ride a horse, take sewing lessons, study Chinese, learn spot welding. Choose a class where you participate rather than sit back and listen to a lecturer--something like cooking, wine tasting, or learning a foreign language. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Set aside at least 15 minutes a day to phone or e-mail people and make plans. Practice actually speaking to people rather than messaging them. (It's much harder.) [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

One out of every 16 eligible people you meet can be your matched opposite. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

There's no rejection, only selection. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

E-mail relationships can get far more intimate, far faster, than in-person relationships. Often there's been so much buildup that the actual meeting is a letdown. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Men tend to look first at the photo while women read the words. Women chose a good sense of humor and similar taste in music, movies, books, etc., with strong family values and great smile sharing third place. Tacky clothes and a bad haircut matter more to women than men. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman