Quotations by Nicholas Boothman

Men tend to look first at the photo while women read the words. Women chose a good sense of humor and similar taste in music, movies, books, etc., with strong family values and great smile sharing third place. Tacky clothes and a bad haircut matter more to women than men. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Four elements to a great online presence: First, and most overlooked, a compelling username. Next comes your headline, or hook (generally a statement, not a questions, and is designed to arouse curiosity). Then your photo, and finally your stories. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Your photo: Eye contact with the camera signals trust and openness; a genuine smile signals approachability, confidence, and happiness, and open body language signals you're open as a person. A lifestyle portrait generally looks more intimate when the subject is leaning (slightly) forward or sideways with one elbow on something, and when his or her shoulders are not as symmetrical as they would be in a passport photo. Look at a few fashion magazine covers and you'll see what I mean. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Quick Profile-Writing Tips: 1. Write short paragraphs. 2. Keep it classy. 3. Never come out and say you're looking for a soul mate--it's scary to some people. 4. Periodically change your headline and copy, and update your photos at least once a year. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Make a date as soon as you decide you might like someone (after three to five good e-mails). [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Ask questions about what he or she likes to do in their spare time. Find out what music, movies, and TV shows he or she likes. Make sure your date does at least half of the talking. If you feel a connection, tell your date that you had a great time and would love to get together again. Don't ask him or her how he/she feels while you're together. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Having dinner on a first date is a bad idea. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Limit yourself to two dates a week. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

55 percent of what we respond to is visual; 38 percent is auditory, or the pure sound of the communication; and only 7 percent involves the actual words we use. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

The single most important attribute we all subconsciously seek in a potential mate is good health. Someone who's standing tall looks healthy and strong, ready to face the world. If you want to move on to some advanced poise and posture work, take dance lessons. Dancing benefits you in myriad ways. You gain strength, grace,and rhythm; it works wonders for your posture and gets you in touch with your body; and it helps boost your confidence, on the dance floor and off. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Synchronizing includes matching, which means doing the same thing as the other person (she moves her left hand, you move your left hand) and mirroring, which means, you move as though you were watching the other person in a mirror (he moves his left hand, you move your right). You'll tend to use matching when you're sitting or walking next to someone, and mirroring when you're facing him or her. Synchronizing doesn't mean mimicking. Your movements must be subtle and respectful. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

You can synchronize any or all of the following--and the more the better: 1. Body position and movements. 2. Head tilts. 3. Facial expressions. 4. Mental attitude. 5. Tone and volume of voice. 6. Rate of speech (speaking faster/slower). 7. Breathing. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

By upping your "value" in the early stage of a relationship, making you seem rare, precious, and worth pursuing. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

For North Americans, the concentric circles of defense start roughly ten feet out (beyond which is public space), running from there to arm's length (social space), then to within arm's length (personal space), and finally to within a foot or so (private space). [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

A woman can send sexual signals by licking her lips slightly, tracing the outline of her collar with her fingers, playing with her hair or jewelry, or running her hand down her thigh. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Sign up for some classes. Even a one- or two-week program will do the trick. Skydiving, kickboxing, belly dancing, yoga, tennis, weight lifting, tae kwon do, rumba lessons--anything in which your body is 100 percent involved. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

At the heart of creating intimacy is self-disclosure. Basically, self-disclosure is revealing intimate information about yourself--your experiences, your ideas, your hopes, dreams, and feelings. In short: your stories. It's not a one-way street, though. The goal is that your partner offers the same kind of information about him- or herself. Sharing experiences is probably the least threatening form of self-disclosure. Sharing ideas involves more risk. Sharing feelings is the highest-risk kind of disclosure. Stay well away from discussing your previous dating and sexual entanglements, at least until you are fully committed to each other. And even then, trend lightly. A discussion of your romantic past can quickly slide into comparison, competition, and insecurity. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

The way you invite someone out is as important as the nature of the outing itself. The more fun, exciting, and unique you can make your invitation sound, the greater the chance of the invitee accepting it. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Incidental touching is done with the hand and is brief, gentle, natural, and nonthreatening. You may touch the person's arm or shoulder but never anywhere that's overtly sexual (the breast, the butt, the inner thigh). Your first incidental touch should come around the time you are comfortable with medium-risk self-disclosure--preferably after you have laughed together and learned in to each other. If your well-timed and brief touch on the arm prompts a warm response, you can follow it with an appropriately-timed, incidental touch to the hand. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

We don't fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with them. When you fall for someone new, there are the head-spinning feelings of excitement and desire, but there's also tension. When you meet your matched opposite, however, that tension is replaced by an enormous, unmistakable sense of calm--and relief. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman