Quotations by Nicholas Boothman

We don't fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with them. When you fall for someone new, there are the head-spinning feelings of excitement and desire, but there's also tension. When you meet your matched opposite, however, that tension is replaced by an enormous, unmistakable sense of calm--and relief. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

We all search for our other half in hopes of becoming whole. This is called "human desire for completeness". In our lover we seek and desire that which we do not have. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

If you believe in love at first sight, there's a roughly 60 percent chance it will happen to you. Love at first sight happens, but it's not wise to count on it. Love by design is a series of steps that helps you connect with your matched opposite. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

The DISC system: D for dominance (controller), I for influence (promoter), S for steadiness (supporter), and C for compliance (analyst). Analysts need to feel intelligent, controllers like to feel powerful, promoters do best when they feel important, and supporters like to feel valued. Given that they're matched in the ways that are important to them (interests, values, religion, etc.), people who belong in opposing quadrants have a better chance of forming a lasting bond than people who fit into the same quadrant. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Like any selection process, love is a numbers game. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

The best way to begin to meet new people is through the people you already know--your friends, family, and colleagues. Ask an acquaintance out for coffee or entertain friends at home. Join a community club or a volunteer organization. Invite friends to a sporting event, park, museum, book club, concert, or festival and suggest they bring friends too. Two simple rules for meeting people: Entertain once a week without fail, and accept all invitations. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Take courses, volunteer, join a committee, go to exhibitions, walk someone's dog, learn to cook, take tango lessons, visit art galleries, go to pet shows, take up roller-skating, attend weddings and christenings, funerals, and other events. Get a fun part-time job, give dinner parties, start a book club, attend night school, ride a horse, take sewing lessons, study Chinese, learn spot welding. Choose a class where you participate rather than sit back and listen to a lecturer--something like cooking, wine tasting, or learning a foreign language. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Set aside at least 15 minutes a day to phone or e-mail people and make plans. Practice actually speaking to people rather than messaging them. (It's much harder.) [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

One out of every 16 eligible people you meet can be your matched opposite. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

There's no rejection, only selection. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

E-mail relationships can get far more intimate, far faster, than in-person relationships. Often there's been so much buildup that the actual meeting is a letdown. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Men tend to look first at the photo while women read the words. Women chose a good sense of humor and similar taste in music, movies, books, etc., with strong family values and great smile sharing third place. Tacky clothes and a bad haircut matter more to women than men. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Four elements to a great online presence: First, and most overlooked, a compelling username. Next comes your headline, or hook (generally a statement, not a questions, and is designed to arouse curiosity). Then your photo, and finally your stories. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Your photo: Eye contact with the camera signals trust and openness; a genuine smile signals approachability, confidence, and happiness, and open body language signals you're open as a person. A lifestyle portrait generally looks more intimate when the subject is leaning (slightly) forward or sideways with one elbow on something, and when his or her shoulders are not as symmetrical as they would be in a passport photo. Look at a few fashion magazine covers and you'll see what I mean. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Quick Profile-Writing Tips: 1. Write short paragraphs. 2. Keep it classy. 3. Never come out and say you're looking for a soul mate--it's scary to some people. 4. Periodically change your headline and copy, and update your photos at least once a year. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Make a date as soon as you decide you might like someone (after three to five good e-mails). [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Ask questions about what he or she likes to do in their spare time. Find out what music, movies, and TV shows he or she likes. Make sure your date does at least half of the talking. If you feel a connection, tell your date that you had a great time and would love to get together again. Don't ask him or her how he/she feels while you're together. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Having dinner on a first date is a bad idea. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Limit yourself to two dates a week. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

55 percent of what we respond to is visual; 38 percent is auditory, or the pure sound of the communication; and only 7 percent involves the actual words we use. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman