Quotations by Nicholas Boothman

The single most important attribute we all subconsciously seek in a potential mate is good health. Someone who's standing tall looks healthy and strong, ready to face the world. If you want to move on to some advanced poise and posture work, take dance lessons. Dancing benefits you in myriad ways. You gain strength, grace,and rhythm; it works wonders for your posture and gets you in touch with your body; and it helps boost your confidence, on the dance floor and off. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Synchronizing includes matching, which means doing the same thing as the other person (she moves her left hand, you move your left hand) and mirroring, which means, you move as though you were watching the other person in a mirror (he moves his left hand, you move your right). You'll tend to use matching when you're sitting or walking next to someone, and mirroring when you're facing him or her. Synchronizing doesn't mean mimicking. Your movements must be subtle and respectful. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

You can synchronize any or all of the following--and the more the better: 1. Body position and movements. 2. Head tilts. 3. Facial expressions. 4. Mental attitude. 5. Tone and volume of voice. 6. Rate of speech (speaking faster/slower). 7. Breathing. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

By upping your "value" in the early stage of a relationship, making you seem rare, precious, and worth pursuing. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

For North Americans, the concentric circles of defense start roughly ten feet out (beyond which is public space), running from there to arm's length (social space), then to within arm's length (personal space), and finally to within a foot or so (private space). [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

A woman can send sexual signals by licking her lips slightly, tracing the outline of her collar with her fingers, playing with her hair or jewelry, or running her hand down her thigh. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Sign up for some classes. Even a one- or two-week program will do the trick. Skydiving, kickboxing, belly dancing, yoga, tennis, weight lifting, tae kwon do, rumba lessons--anything in which your body is 100 percent involved. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

At the heart of creating intimacy is self-disclosure. Basically, self-disclosure is revealing intimate information about yourself--your experiences, your ideas, your hopes, dreams, and feelings. In short: your stories. It's not a one-way street, though. The goal is that your partner offers the same kind of information about him- or herself. Sharing experiences is probably the least threatening form of self-disclosure. Sharing ideas involves more risk. Sharing feelings is the highest-risk kind of disclosure. Stay well away from discussing your previous dating and sexual entanglements, at least until you are fully committed to each other. And even then, trend lightly. A discussion of your romantic past can quickly slide into comparison, competition, and insecurity. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

The way you invite someone out is as important as the nature of the outing itself. The more fun, exciting, and unique you can make your invitation sound, the greater the chance of the invitee accepting it. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman

Incidental touching is done with the hand and is brief, gentle, natural, and nonthreatening. You may touch the person's arm or shoulder but never anywhere that's overtly sexual (the breast, the butt, the inner thigh). Your first incidental touch should come around the time you are comfortable with medium-risk self-disclosure--preferably after you have laughed together and learned in to each other. If your well-timed and brief touch on the arm prompts a warm response, you can follow it with an appropriately-timed, incidental touch to the hand. [2004] - Nicholas Boothman