Quotations by Pepper Schwartz

If you have a lean body, wear a slim turtleneck, jeans that don't hang on you, and even a form-fitting sport coat instead of a boxy one. [2014] - Pepper Schwartz

A dinner date works best when you know the two of you have a lot in common and a lot to talk about. If you hardly know each other at all, a dinner date isn't the best option because it requires a lot of conversation before you've gotten to know each other. [2014] - Pepper Schwartz

Research by Dr. Janet Lever and Dr. Rosanna Hertz shows that even in 2013, most women preferred to be paid for on a date, but an increasing number of men wanted women to offer to pay the bill at least some of the time. [2014] - Pepper Schwartz

Means Contribution - an arrangement in which you and your date contribute to expenses according to your means. For example, you can say, "I know you love the ballet. What if I contribute the tickets and dinner and you pay for the parking?" Or, "Tell you what, what if I take us out this weekend and you make dinner at your place the weekend after?" [2014] - Pepper Schwartz

Here are some reasons you may have chemistry but no second date: 1) The person is on a serious hunt for "the one." He doesn't think that's you, and he doesn't want to waste time, no matter how great you are. 2) The person is still emotionally attached to someone else. 3) The person is just charming. Everyone feels chemistry with him, but he's actually very picky about who to get involved with. 4) Some crisis intervenes, and the person is no longer in the mood for dating. Don't take it personally; move on and don't worry about it. Look for a true connection. [2014] - Pepper Schwartz

Ten signs of a solid and worthy relationship: 1) Your date is always or almost always on time. 2) Your date's relationship with family and friends are warm and intact. 3) Your date tells you how much you mean to him. 4) Your date notices when you're unhappy and wants to help. 5) Your date doesn't get jealous. 6) Your date thinks of ways to please you. 7) Your date has good boundaries and you respect them. 8) Your date has active, happy, fulfilled days. 9) Your date is generally in a good mood. 10) Your date is affectionate and sexually interested in you. [2014] - Pepper Schwartz

The eight essential compatibility characteristics: romantic impulsivity, personal energy, outlook, predictability, flexibility, decision-making style, emotionality, and self-nurturing. The first four of the eight key personality characteristics are linked together because they usually produce compatibility when they are shared by each person in a couple. However, when a couple does not share the second fours characteristics, the relationship can still thrive; in fact, these differences between them might add to chemistry or attractiveness of the relationship. [2006] - Pepper Schwartz

As important as personality characteristics may be to determine perfect matches, there is more to compatibility than personality. Couples also need to make sure they are in sync on important lifestyle choices. You could be just right for each other as personalities--and so wrong when it comes to your fundamental values, hopes, and dreams. It is extremely important to be able to talk about what your expectations and feelings are in these five areas: money, sex, children, core values, and social life. [2006] - Pepper Schwartz