Quotations by Christopher Gray

Ways to change your appearance include experimenting with a beard (goatee, full beard, moustache, sideburns, or just the unshaven look), cutting your hair a different length than you normally do (the trend for the past 20 years has been shorter and shorter hair for men), wearing accessories (necklace or wrist band), wearing cool designer-jeans that suit your body type instead of the old baggy ones you are used to, a sport jacket - the list goes on). [2012] - Christopher Gray

White socks are out; your socks should be the same color as your shoes or pants. If during warm weather you are wearing deck shoes or sandals, ditch the socks altogether (whether you are wearing pants or shorts). The same goes for undershirts - white is not fashionable. Buy several t-shirts of different colors to match your outerwear. [2012] - Christopher Gray

Most men look their best - in short sleeves, long sleeves, casual dress, business dress or formal dress - wearing wristwatches between 39mm-42mm in size. An alternative to a watch is a plain or woven wrist band. [2012] - Christopher Gray

Not having a job is the number two turnoff for women (number one being over thirty and still living in your parent's wood-paneled basement). [2012] - Christopher Gray

Learn a new language, or take acting or dancing lessons. There are usually more women than men present for all three of these pursuits. Salsa dancing lessons are especially effective. [2012] - Christopher Gray

It's not a good idea for a man to engage in sex talk with a woman, whether it's by email, texting, Facebook, or over the phone, unless she does so first. Doing so may make the man appear vulgar in her eyes, even if she has been acting flirty or suggestive in her communications thus far. Overt sexual communication can be returned, but let her do the escalating. Match, but do not surpass the level she sets. [2012] - Christopher Gray

Four qualities that women find most attractive in a person: Easy going confidence; Intrigue; Style; Humor. [2012] - Christopher Gray

There are many ways to meet women, including through: 1. Blind dates set up by friends; 2. Work relationships that turn romantic; 3. Online or telephone dating; 4. Trips and vacations; 5. Random encounters in shops, the street, in malls or on public transit. All of these are potential dating areas but the last one - random encounters with women you meet while out on errands or going about your daily business - demand the most skill. [2012] - Christopher Gray

In nice weather, bars with large outdoor patio are great because of the fresh air and generally less frantic vibe, and they are a better choice if you don't dance. [2012] - Christopher Gray

If you are in a club and see women walking nearby and wave them over to you, nine times out of ten they will come right over (provided you hadn't shown yourself to be passively standing in a corner for the past hour). You could open with the always reliable "Hi, are you having a good time?" and then transition into conversation. [2012] - Christopher Gray

You may feel intimidated by groups, but there are certain advantages to successfully opening a group of people. One of the best questions you can ask to start the conversation is "So how do you know each other?" [2012] - Christopher Gray

Throwing in a false time constraint (I'm in a hurry, so I can't talk long) works anywhere, not just on public transit. It puts her at ease, letting her know you won't necessarily be taking up much of her time if she isn't interested. You can actually extend the conversation as much as feasible. In fact, the longer it is the better, since if it is flowing naturally and she's enjoying herself, her interest in you will rise, the time constraint will be forgotten, and she will feel more comfortable about giving you her contact information. [2012] - Christopher Gray

Only proceed with a light touch in a safe, public environment, and you are confident she will not be startled. Never latch on to a woman - only use the tips of your fingers to lightly tap her on the shoulder or arm. Respect her personal space - give her as much of a comfort zone as you'd expect from a stranger approaching you for some other reason. [2012] - Christopher Gray

Flake-Out Factor is when you get a phone number or email address and your communication attempts are not returned, or her communication stops after one or two exchanges. The number one cause of the flake-out is that not enough comfort and rapport was generated. In other words, you probably bailed out of the conversation a little early, or you started to appear too interested and needy. The number two reason is that too much time has elapsed between the initial and subsequent contacts. [2012] - Christopher Gray

If through practice you are able to offer confident, engaging conversation and build rapport in the first minutes, the odds of getting an email address or phone number is approximately one in five. Of cause, approximately four in five will flake out. In other words, of five women that gave out their contact information, one will be willing to communicate extensively after the initial interaction, so the true success rate is on in twenty-five. [2012] - Christopher Gray

If you ask random women the ideal age range of a potential partner, they generally state that they are looking for someone the same age as them up to about seven years older. Some women say five years older is the upper cutoff, while others as high as ten or twelve years (it depends on the individual). That does not mean women are not open to dating outside their stated age range. Charisma and personality can trump age, up to a point. This is where meeting someone in person has an advantage over online dating sites. [2012] - Christopher Gray

Dinner, or even just a coffee, is not a good first date because the two of you will be sitting across from each other, and it will probably feel more like a job interview than a date. A better first date is one that involves walking, at a crafts show, an outdoor music festival, a park (especially during a special event), or even window shopping in a trendy part of town. After you've done this for an hour or so the initial jitters will have passed, then suggest the two of you go to a coffee shop to recharge. [2012] - Christopher Gray

You can make one or two compliments about her appearance per meeting (e.g., You look great in that outfit), but that's all. Any more than that and you will be seen as pandering. [2012] - Christopher Gray

If you asked her out you should definitely pay, even if she offers to split the bill. If you go on multiple dates with a woman and she eventually suggests an event or dinner, the chances are good that she will offer to pay. If you insist on paying in this instance she may get offended, thinking you didn't respect the fact she has a job and can afford it. [2012] - Christopher Gray

With most modern couples it is not unusual for the woman to pay at least 20-30% of the time, if not closer to 50%, or to split the bill on occasion. Don't let her do this more than half the time or you may look like a cheapskate. [2012] - Christopher Gray