Quotations by Neil Clark Warren

A bad marriage is worse than no marriage at all. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

You want to discover what the person enjoys about his daily experience, whether he is happy and why, how much his job means to him, and how involved he is at church or in other community activities. Pay close attention to information about family background, especially the relationships the person has with his or parents. You should want to know about the quality of the parents' marriage. It is good to know as much as you can about whether the parents enjoy each other or simply tolerate each other. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

I encourage a couple to go together for two years before they decide to marry. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

If he asked almost nothing about you, or if he moved the conversation abruptly in too many directions, this would clearly indicate significant problems. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

A person who suffers from a character disorder frequently has significant behavioral or emotional problems that will almost certainly spell disaster for any marital relationships. One of the most difficult aspects of identifying people with character disorders is that they tend to be unusually charming. People with these kinds of disorders tend to lie, cheat, exaggerate, and take advantage of others. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Persons who suffer from neuroses generally are depressed, fearful, obsessive-compulsive, or overly anxious. Neuroses are far less indicative of long-term catastrophic marital relationships than are character disorders. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Three qualities indicate emotional health. Generosity, truthfulness, and kindness. If you find a person who is emotionally healthy, you will have eliminated 75 to 80 percent of the causes of divorce. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Find somebody to love who is a lot like you. There are seven significant similarities: 1. Spiritual harmony. 2. Desire for verbal intimacy and ability to be intimate. 3. Level of energy. 4. Level of ambition. 5. Expectations about roles. 6. Interests. 7. Personal habits (punctuality, cleanliness, orderliness, dependability, responsibility, and weight management). [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

A good deal in a marriage partner is defined as "a person who brings at least as many qualities to the marriage as you do." [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Associate with people who highly value your primary qualities. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Look for a person who is ambitious, hardworking, determined, and reliable. Find the qualities you admire in a person when they are budding rather than they are in full bloom. Find a person whose dreams are likely to take them to the very place you also want to go. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

You will always love the person most who helps us feel best about ourselves. You want to find someone who shines when you are together. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

If a person has none of your can't-stand qualities, but you're unsure if he or she has your must-haves, take your time! [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

You can be deeply content without being married. I'm a big believer in the magnificence of marriage, but I know thousands of single people who are profoundly content and emotionally healthy. Their contentment is much more important to their lives than marriage would be. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Seventy-five to eighty percent of all chemistry evaporates within six to eight months unless their relationship is significantly undergirded by deeper and more durable compatibility. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

One quality that should be looked at for both potential partners, prior to marriage, is the tendency to find fault, to attribute blame, to make the other person wrong, and to need to portray oneself as always "right." The more pessimistic a person is, the more likely they are to be obstreperous. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

There are many marriages that work well without educational equality, but if education has received heavy stress during a person's growing[up years, this dimension must be given appropriate attention. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

It is critical that two people be well matched with regard to their moods. The two well-matched partners need to have approximately the same amount of life ambition. Their values about social issues, political issues, and environmental issues are highly important. Their views about saving money and giving money away should be similar. Two life partners need to have a similar level of interest in communicating with one another and a similar ability to communicate. Both partners need to be good at conflict resolution for a marriage to survive and thrive. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

Men apparently look for healthy and vital women, and women look for men who can provide economic and physical security, especially during their childbearing years. The vast majority of women want more communication than their male counterparts, and they are also better able to communicate well. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren

If one partner is highly dominant, a marriage will work better if the other partner is significantly more submissive. [2002] - Neil Clark Warren